Believe, Achieve, Inspire

Anyone who has ever been on a ‘Lead Like Mary’ Leadership programme with Barry Dore will I’m sure, remember the ribbon exercise. This is perhaps one of the reasons why Barry’s approach to Leadership is so authentic and inspiring. It’s not just about how you approach the work environment and realise ambitions, it’s about how you approach life in general with a focus on the impact you can make on the world and those around you.

It goes something like this:

Take a length of ribbon - hold from hand to hand when stretched out either side of you. Now cut off segments of the ribbon to signify how much time you spend on the things you spend your life doing.

Let’s start with sleep - The average person spends about 26 years sleeping in their life which equates to 9,490 days or 227,760 hours. That’s one third of our entire lives spent asleep in bed.

Then there’s work - Whether it’s your dream job or a way to pay the bills, our jobs take up a lot of our time. 13 years on average - that’s 24% of a typical working period of 50 years.

Now cut off segments for eating - we spend almost 4 and a half years eating, or 1583 days -queueing, almost a year (especially for the ladies), and screen time - a whopping 11 years scrolling social media and television.

So, how much time is left for the things we love? When your mind focuses on the things you want to achieve in life, and with the time in which you have to do it, it really does make you re-evaluate. At this point, one of my favourite quotes springs to mind:

‘Buy the shoes, eat the cake, take the trip.'

Back in 2016, the ribbon conversation with Barry led to a question about what the next five to 10 years looked like for me, and I clearly recall my list of ambitions:

• Travel more

• Volunteer more

• Raise more funds for charity and, internationally

• Spend more time with those I love

Now, eight years on and it’s comforting to know that I’ve done just that. But perhaps most exciting is that this October/November will see me trekking 100 kilometres in Cambodia fundraising for Alzheimer’s Society with some of my best friends, and combining all of my ambitions in one experience. We’ll be camping with very basic facilities including bucket showers and walking eight hours a day in hot and humid weather - so it’s really not a holiday but an experience for sure.

Sara, Charlotte, Kanan and I, all have first hand experience of living with Dementia and Alzheimer’s and how the conditions devastate lives. See my ‘Lives on Hold’ blog for more.

I’ve been fundraising now for ten years and raised over £8,000 for a number of charities. If you’ve thought about sponsoring me in the past, but never actually made the pledge, now’s the time to do so. Not only will you help me achieve my overall £10,000 charity fundraising target, but more importantly, you’ll be helping Alzheimer’s to fund vital support and life-changing research to give help and hope to those living with dementia.

You can donate via the Just Giving page Lyndsey Nassim is fundraising for The Lockton Charitable Association (justgiving.com)

One in three born in the UK today will develop dementia.

Dementia and Alzheimer's disease was the leading cause of death in Britain for the last 10 years.

For my Nan, Michael and all my friends and family living with Dementia and Alzheimer’s.
Thank-you.

(I still carry the small piece of ribbon I had left after cutting off all the segments. A constant reminder that life is short and to always ‘Believe, achieve and inspire’).

Sources:

Dementia UK

Alzheimer’s Society

Dreams

Charity Challenge

Lives on hold

I was prompted to write this blog when the Dementia UK video, ‘Lives on hold’ I posted on Facebook in 2020, came up on my memories just a few days ago. Three things always help me get through difficult times. Running (particularly in the playground I call home - Epping Forest), spending time with family and friends and writing. All of which I’m very gratefu for. Curating this has been particularly cathartic.

I’m currently in between jobs. I had planned a two week window to catch up with life admin, family and friends. Something much needed after the constraints of lockdown and exam time for my two teenagers in their penultimate years before GCSEs and A-levels. But those plans changed in a heartbeat when, 12 days ago, my mother-in-law had a fall, broke her hip and had surgery.

The break and subsequent hospital admission was only half the challenge. Not only were Aron and I now confronted with the dilemma of how to visit, care and support her for the inevitable months it will take to rehabilitate, (whilst working and being there for the kids), but certainly more challenging, how we would look after my father-in-law who has dementia.

I’m not bitter or resentful for plans changing, (I believe in fate and that this ‘time off’ was meant to be to care and help Aron and my in-laws). But just one week in, and I’m emotionally drained and heartbroken for sure.

Not least to witness first hand the physical pain Aron’s mum is clearly in, and the now severe memory loss of his dad Michael (he has deteriorated rapidly since his wife was hospitalised) but equally, the pain and feeling of isolation, despair and heartbreak for Aron. The reality is that he is now experiencing the heartache of losing his dad whilst still alive and I can’t do anything to lessen that pain.

The truth is, we had already been looking after his parents for about three years. Since his mum was diagnosed with a degenerative spine condition and his dad, vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s. During this time, Aron hasn’t been able to work, with the pressure on me to support the family financially. It was only a few months ago, after years of hospital and doctors visits, seeing specialists and arranging a suitable care package at home to support them, that Aron was able to return to work.

Aron started a new job just a month ago and things were looking up. But three weeks in and he has had to juggle all that comes with joining a new organisation and looking after ill parents. At this stage it’s impossible to know what the future will look like and whether we will face once more the prospect of ‘work’ becoming caring responsibilities.

To employers who see gaps in CVs where professionals have done the kindest thing by their family and chosen to care, I ask that you reflect on what that actually means. And once that individual is in a position to work once again, consider just how valuable their skills are to the role and organisation. I believe caring is the most selfless and most difficult job anyone can do. It requires patience, resilience, tenacity, emotional intelligence, integrity and kindness. All critical skills for today’s workplace.

Having Michael live with us is in many ways a blessing. He is one of the kindest men I know. He brings an aura of calm to the household, expects nothing and is grateful for everything - admirable characteristics for anyone, let alone someone living with his condition. But the dementia is crippling. Long term memory is now fading as much as the short term - forgetting he has family members living abroad is a harsh reality. It wasn’t long ago he reminisced about bygone days in his native homeland. Talking of school days and family flanked by the beautiful mountains of Kashmir -my married surname Nassim meaning ‘mountain breeze.’ Short term is more challenging of course. Asking to go home constantly, (although the kinder thing is for him to be cared for by us), forgetting he’s had dinner shortly after eating, asking the same questions constantly, forgetting why his wife is in hospital and where she is, obsessing about his keys and the cat, are relentless, let alone the concern that he may go walk about and or do himself harm.

Meanwhile, we’re navigating hospitals, consultants, the discharge team, social care and services to understand our options when Polly returns home. We have so many questions and not many answers right now (despite an average of about 45 calls a day). Social care is hard to come by and cripplingly expensive. One care home we called said we would be number 12 on the list. Another quoted £1200 a week. To put that into perspective, £125,000 a year for two people. Whilst we’ve done our best this last week to juggle a myriad of physical and emotional challanges - two parents who have life changing and limiting conditions, a new job, and supporting teenagers through exams, it’s just not sustainable. We and they will need more help than we have access to. A quick fix solution is non-existent.

It’s estimated that by 2025, the number of people with dementia in the UK will be more than 1 million. One person every three minutes is diagnosed with the condition that currently has no cure. This is compounded by a failing social care system with thousands struggling to access the vital care we need in the first instance and or, poor quality care once secured. Like thousands of families across the UK, our options are catastrophic costs to pay for their care and support, or to care for them ourselves. Which is the kinder?’

I applaud the millions of carer’s looking after loved ones up and down the UK. Like our doctors, nurses and surgical care teams, you are the nations real superheros.

To the charities supporting vital research and specialist help to those living with Dementia, and Alzheimer’s thank you.

A big thank you also goes to Habit Action who have been incredibly supportive during the last week. Taking on a new employee, Aron, and giving him the time and space to deal with this desperately difficult situation. I appreciate not everyone is afforded this luxury.

On Father’s Day, this is dedicated to Michael and Aron and also our numerous friends who have lost loved ones to this cruel disease and or are caring for loved ones living with dementia.

My next challenge will be raising funds for Dementia UK. Are you with me?

Thoughts are my own.

What a result

Ever since I can remember, results day has almost always created a furore. My brother was the first cohort to take the new GCSE in 1988 which was also the earliest, main driver of modern interest in exam coverage. From the 'dumbing-down' of creative subjects and record results to grade inflation and 'factory-farmed' kids with the narrowing of the curriculum. But 2021 results day follows a year like no other. We're all acutely aware of the challenges the pandemic posed for our young people, their parents, carers, families, teachers and schools. From the digital divide as lessons transitioned online, self-isolation issues that impacted lessons delivered and their equitability (resulting in at least a third of the academic year being lost), compounded mental health issues and the devastating reality that many students and their teachers lost loved ones. Many have compared our young generation to the 'lost generation' in early adulthood during World War 1. I agree that this is useful to a point in that it will hopefully mean funding bodies will prioritise research into the impact of the pandemic and what can be done to mitigate its effects. Including funding to support an increase in mental health services and access to education on a equitable basis. But today and on Thursday, I hope the narrative is kind and positive and we can allow our young people to reflect and congratulate themselves on what they have gained and not 'lost.' Not just in terms of their formal qualifications but the all important life skills that are becoming increasingly important in the job market; digital skills, independent learning, kindness and empathy, creativity, environmental awareness and living in the moment.
It's been a hell of a journey - good luck to all the GCSE and A-level students waking up to results this week and thank you to all the teachers that supported them along the way.
#education #mentalhealth #digital #empathy #learning #resultsday2021

It’s beginning to look a lot like…a happy Christmas

The run up to Christmas 2020 has been a stark contrast to my memories of this time last year.

But there are many similarities in terms of just how much can be achieved in a matter of weeks, by bringing together key skills and expertise, project management and a steely determination to succeed. 

In 2019, it was being part of a small team that organised what has gone down in history as ‘the best staff party ever’ at Gilwell Park, Scout headquarters. ‘A night at the movies,’ with popcorn and cocktails, amazing fancy dress costumes and an incredible DJ keeping us on the dance floor all night long.

This year, it’s how a great idea to support the local community, become a reality in just six weeks.

The Coronavirus pandemic, yielded unprecedented displays of care and concern within my local community. A network of local food banks rallied round, supported by the generosity of many local contributors, with an unwavering commitment to ensure that no one in Chingford and Highams Park was without help, support or food. 

Building on all that has been achieved together since March and over the summer, we launched a Crowdfunder on the 14 November. The campaign: to ensure that vulnerable children have access to what every single child deserves on Christmas morning: a present just for them.

Our target was to raise £5000, to give each child privately referred to us by food bank organisations, social workers and schools, a £20 voucher to spend in participating shops in Chingford and Highams Park, and so also supporting our businesses and local economy who have been hit hard by the pandemic.

Hot off the heels of a research project I worked on during the summer, exploring the digital support needs of local Charities and Community Interest Companies within the London Borough of Waltham Forest https://wfconnected.org/charitytechwalthamforest , the idea leant itself to act as a pilot for the report recommendations laid out in the report. 

After four weeks of working with a small and committed team of talented individuals, I’m delighted to share that our ambition has been realised and on many levels linked to the report recommendations:

Collaboration - working with key volunteers in the community; from local residents and volunteers at the food banks, to local ambassadors helping promote the fundraising campaign on social media channels; Love North Chingford, Love Highams Park and on individuals’ personal channels

Strategic partnerships - working with digital printers and creative/digital solution agencies to create a Christmas themed, foil embossed voucher, each with unique QR code; supporting redemption in store and online

Strategic fundraising - following a funding bid, £1000 was kindly donated by a Charitable Trust to kick-start the Crowdfunder. The Trust also funded the project to invest in the technology to make the campaign a reality

Individual and digital fundraising - a total of £5,675 was raised on the Just giving platform via individual donations across the local area and beyond, with 182 donations in total

Total raised - £6,675, exceeding our £5000 target

Leveraging resource economies of scale - utilising existing technologies from Ding Digital to support the voucher scheme. Via Ticketlab, QR code and e-commerce technology supported businesses by expanding their retail offering online

Reusability/Future proofing - developing a voucher code system within Ticketlab, which can be utilized for future community campaigns should be be in a position to secure funding to do so; Easter, Summer and Christmas 2021

It was a challenging ambition at the outset, and with considerable risks within the timeframe: 

• to secure monies to fund the cost of the project

• to raise £5000

• to onboard a number of local businesses as business partners

• to design and create a voucher

• to design and create a voucher scheme

• to distribute 350 vouchers during a second lockdown.

But as of writing, we have managed to achieve exactly that.

Now we look forward to the vouchers being redeemed in our local shops and supporting our hard working and creative businesses owners. And of course, our beneficiaries, enjoying both the gift of Christmas and more importantly, the gift they have received as a result of their community.

With massive thanks to:

Every single individual who donated to the Crowdfunder

The Trust for funding the project

Creators of the campaign idea and team leaders; Faiza Shaheen and Catherine Marcus

All the volunteers working across our local food banks; Highams Park Food bank, Friday Hill Rescue Hub and Peabody Pantry: Tracey Rogers, Ellie Ward, Jenni Regan, Vicci-Jo, and Yemi

Russell Dunphy at Waltham Forest Mutual Hub for creating our Christmas campaign webpage

Our local business partners; Bailey & Ash, Grace & Albert, Oh My Coffee, The Craft Cabin and Ziggys

Steve Mootoosamy at Moo Creative - for creative support across voucher design/social media assets and personally funding 20 vouchers through pro bono work

Matt Hopkins at Ruddocks for mail-merging, printing and delivery on a tight time schedule

Riley Ramone at Ding Digital - for developing the software to enable the voucher scheme to work in store and online.

Driving with the brakes on

I’m a West London girl. Brought up in Fulham with a five minute walk to the River Thames and the towpath to Bishops Park which became my playground as a child. It wasn’t until my early twenties that my partner and I at the time, (now husband), wanted to buy a place together that we moved North of the river. We settled on Chingford. The draw was the incredible Epping Forest on our doorstep, the vibrant High Streets and markets in the local area (Walthamstow still a massive attraction as Europe’s longest outdoor market) and the fact we could still be in central London within 40 minutes. 

I’ve been an active member of the community over the last 20 years. Supporting local events and independents, keeping up to date with developments, and helping to run my local Scout Group in a number of different roles from an occasional helper to now, an Assistant Scout Leader. Our community work has seen us support the elderly by making friends in care homes, raising funds for our local church, working with a homeless charity giving out food and clothes during the winter and more recently taking donations to local food banks. 

But it has only been over the last few weeks that I’ve truly appreciated just how brilliant the Borough of Waltham Forest is. Aside from its space (one of the greenest boroughs North of the river), diversity (*62% of residents are from minority ethnic backgrounds) and culture (home to Britain's most exciting designer William Morris and Borough of Culture 2019), it is its people working to connect the community that shines through the most. 

I was recently commissioned by a Charitable Trust and St James Street Big Local, to work on a research project looking at the Digital support needs of small Charities and Community Interest Companies (CICs) across the borough during and post Covid-19.

The context to this, following a decade of council and social sector funding cuts many third sector organisations have emerged to fill the gap in addressing social advantage, particularly for children (**almost 36% of Waltham Forest’s children live in poverty after housing costs). This level was already rising before the pandemic and is now only likely to dramatically increase placing immense strain on already stretched resources providing such valuable support.  

I have interviewed around 30 organisations across social sectors - young people, mental health, gangs, domestic violence - (and many more will be involved in the research), with a focus on how much, if any, service provision they have been able to transition online since Covid-19 forced us into lockdown. Their mission of course, has always been to reach those most vulnerable but the pandemic compounded the need for an emergency response to connect with those most isolated from a new, unknown and largely unwelcome reality of social distance. 

The findings are of course vital to the final report - ultimately, we’re hopeful of building a case for core funding to support future digital roadmap plans. But the essence of this message is that I have been genuinely blown away by the positivity, passion, commitment, and creativity from each and every representative of these organisations - from CEOs and Directors to Community Managers and Volunteers - during the most challenging time in their history. 

There has been a very loud and powerful collective, ‘we can’ message. They have never faltered with a dialogue suggesting that they just ‘couldn’t’ or that it was ‘too difficult’. Despite the very real challenges of the virus, these Charities and CICs have balanced managing their businesses, with the additional wellbeing needs of staff and volunteers, as well as finding new ways to reach their users and offer an alternative programme against a backdrop of reduced resource, time and funding to do so.

Although there has been an unfortunate overall decline in the number of users engaging with the Charities and CICs during Covid-19, in a few cases, the successes have seen increased numbers and new audiences across social media platforms, particularly Youtube and Facebook. Examples include Joy Riders London who have produced a number of interactive cycle route videos supporting key workers on their journeys to work and The Mill on Coppermill Lane Walthamstow and Lloyd Park Children’s Charity who have transitioned online producing some excellent resources. The Blair Academy have just produced a 3 part video series designed to keep older adults active at home during lockdown combatting loneliness through Hip Hop.

And addressing, without doubt, the biggest common challenge all our Charities and CICs faced, The Salaam Peace were quick to devise a Community Response to Covid-19 - supplying a number of tablets and laptops to families who just didn’t have devices at home - as well as providing a wide range of Sports equipment to enable their communities to access the new tutorials, videos and infomercials they produced and launched on YouTube.  

There are many more examples of triumph over adversity - a result of the shear hard work and creativity of these incredible organisations who are connecting our community.

A big thank you to everyone who has taken part in the project so far and for your continued work to support our most vulnerable. Your work is more important than ever and we are so very grateful for all that you do.

If you work for or represent a Charity or Community Interest Company within the London Borough of Waltham Forest, and would like to be involved in the research, please complete the survey https://bit.ly/digital-support-needs. A final Research Report will be published at the end of August and available from the Waltham Forest Connected website https://wfconnected.org.

Source: 

*https://www.london.gov.uk/in-my-area/waltham-forest

**http://www.endchildpoverty.org.uk/ 

‘Are you ok?’ The hardest question to ask, and be asked.

Redundancy is never an easy experience. The word alone is difficult to accept - ‘not, or no longer needed or useful.’ Pretty harsh right? Having now experienced redundancy, I’d argue it’s even harder when you love everything about the work you do and the difference it makes.

I’ll always remember Brexit day as the day I was told my job was ‘at risk,’ and so despite my political persuasion, it will always resonate as a sad day in my diary. After 15 years, it was time to strike the tent, pack up the rucksack and hike off, having completed my expedition at the Scouts. And what an incredible 15 years it had been. With a gusto for life, I’d always put in 110% and so I got a huge amount out, providing me with the job satisfaction I know others can only dream of. 

But between 31st January and the 25 March - the day I left - there was the no mean feat of continuing to show up to work every day, to face colleagues and friends who were as shocked as I was at the proposals. To continue to role model the behaviour a true leader should and to support my team who were also facing change. It struck me very early on, that aside from the practical supporting tools employers lend their employees in the form of ‘CV Writing’ and ‘Selling yourself,’ that a more personal form of support and training is much needed during times of restructure and redundancy.

Quite simply, people just don’t know what to say, with many saying nothing at all. The ones that want to engage don’t know what questions to ask and for the ones brave enough to, they just don’t know how to respond.

‘Are you ok?’ appears a simple question to start with and yet it can either be loaded full of anxiety and uncertainty for the person asking - not knowing how they would respond to an honest answer - or simply be a polite display of interest. For the person being asked, there’s a choice. Pretend you’re ok when you’re crumbling inside or - despite reopening a wound each time and lengthening the grieving process - give an honest, emotional answer. Rightly or wrongly, I chose the former. I guess my choice was partly based on the fact that I could handle my own situational mental health at this point but I couldn’t handle other people’s curiosity, even though the curiosity was well intentioned. I also felt that this outwardly display of strength would get me through. And ultimately it did.

Despite my internal struggles, I’m glad I recognised this strange and uncomfortable uncertainty in others. I remember reaching out to a young colleague I had worked closely with the year before the changes were announced. I felt her unease when she looked at me. I could feel that she wanted to say something but didn’t know how. I reached out and asked her how she was. She was so glad I did. She was relieved that I had made the first move. She was tearful but positively in that it was some kind of release for her to just be able to talk to me. Reaching out either way goes miles, just #bekind.

I think we’re all acutely aware that it’s not just those directly affected by redundancy you have to consider during change. It’s everyone. And whilst practical tools may help with the future state, equipping staff with the soft skills to support each other and themselves is vital to survival in the current state. Ultimately, genuine compassionate listeners, who are empathetic, providing confidence and motivation goes a long way to support a workforce who feel valued and truly cared for. Mental Health First Aiders are fortunately becoming more common in the workforce but more of them, and trained in the specifics of change and redundancy would be a great investment of time and to ‘our’ people who are the most valuable asset we have. It starts with people and for me, should end with people, whether you’re leaving or staying.

I have now accepted the change and am looking forward to a new challenge with a renewed focus, energy and enthusiasm - when the world returns to some sort of normality. And, if you’re asking, “I’m ok thank you.”